Dear TD Insurance Letter
Written August 16, 2004

Dear TD Insurance Person (Accounts Receivable?),

Please accept this cheque in payment of back invoices, of which I have only recently become aware. I am fulfilling this obligation as a sign of good faith, as proof that my apparent default on auto insurance was due to misunderstanding and circumstance rather than malicious jackassery or wretched poverty.

Apparently I have been labouring under the misunderstanding that my car has been insured by you fine people for almost a year now. Upon learning that I, in fact, am NOT insured I was simultaneously terrified and elated: terrified because the traffic pigs could have slapped me with a 5000 dollar non-negotiable fine, which a poor student such as myself cannot afford to pay, and elated because I have had approximately 2000 dollars set aside to pay your invoice under the assumption that it would one day arrive. 300 of this is going towards the enclosed cheque, but this leaves me with about 1700 dollars to spend on a laptop.

So thank you, TD Insurance, thank you for cutting off my insurance way back when and giving me this money. It was a horrendous gamble that I never would have undertook if I was at all aware, but luckily I am an excellent driver who never crashes into anybody. Please keep this in mind when I contact you (well not you, the reader, personally but someone in your gigantic faceless organization) for a new policy in the next few days.

Thanks again!

Chris Clemens

This is a letter that I actually wrote and sent to TD Insurance after being informed that I had defaulted on my payments and been driving uninsured for almost an entire year. I always wonder if the person who actually got it had a sense of humour or what. Anyways, they ended up giving me a new policy so everyone lived happily ever after (except for the traffic pigs, who were struck by lightning).