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Nobody Loves You Promo This was a blurb I wrote for Blueprint magazine about the play. It reads like P.R. but I tried to make it as amusing as possible. I also made sure that there is virtually no information disclosed about plot events or character details because, you know, this whole FR!NGE thing is incredibly secretive due to the overwhelming pressures of competition. Yep. Deadly secretive! Overwhelming pressure! Hahahaha.
Nobody Loves You Nobody Loves You is undeniably the longest play on the Fringe circuit this year, living up to the noble legacy of its award-laden predecessor from last year, The Glory, Sorrow & Insignificance of a Pink Lighter. But that doesn’t mean that it’s any good. Longer isn’t always better. Oh my, no. Rather, Nobody Loves You derives its goodness from a bevy of juicy actors, plucked from the veteran circuit. All-stars from last year’s festival include Katie “koohoo3000” Head and Dan “DANce Mix ‘95” Guillemette, and the rest of the cast is seeking penultimate victory this time around. When you add our patented secret ingredient, raw technology sauce, we like to think that we’ve got the formula for success! Or crude oil. To the best of our knowledge, Nobody Loves You is the very first play in the history of the entire world to leverage the awesome power of PowerPoint presentation. Think of the possibilities! Charts! Graphs! Vertical markets! Now, co-opting the archetypical business medium for artistic purposes is delightful in its own right, but just what is this play about? Set on Valentine’s Day – a hackneyed excuse to pimp the greeting card industry – Nobody Loves You features a done-before romance with a side cocktail of Canadian emancipation. In modern society, love is a word tossed around with impunity; a liberator and a crutch, the ultimate motivation for nation and individual alike. But do we really know the true nature of what we worship? Does our culture build the pedestal of love to unattainable levels? And what the hell is with that flying baby cupid, anyways? Nobody Loves You addresses love, but not very tastefully. It’s not happy and shiny. You could even call it pessimistic. There’s always a dark side to the coin, after all. But maybe, just maybe, it’s time to start tearing down the entrenched myths and rebuilding the foundations. Maybe it’s time to start fresh. But hey, what do we know? Here are some script quotes to make up for the fact that we disclosed little to no plot or character details! “Isn’t he soooooo cute? Adorable and sassy, all in one holiday-themed package! The bear to end all bears.” “Uh, yes Mr. President, sir, we’re boosting profits this year by selling cards featuring a flying baby raining arrows of death down on the screaming masses below. Only they’re LOVE arrows.” “Nobody wants to die alone, childless and unloved. Except maybe the communists.” “I hear death tastes a lot like chicken…nothing special.” “Angelica Angelica Angelica! And THEN Angelica Angelica Angelica to the Angelica Angelica, with an Angelica on the side!” “I’m not some random collection of stereotypes that you built for me – I’m a real country with a real personality.” Cast & Crew Niki … Katie Head Written and directed by Chris Clemens |
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