Being an Internet Pirate
Written March 16, 2004

Being a pirate used to be cool. Back in the day, all it took to be a successful pirate was a nifty little boat with some surly sea-dogs to row it around, a fearsome demeanor and/or wooden limbs, and an insatiable urge to rape and pillage the countryside. Gradually the incessant looting faded as industry and democracy gripped the world and the word “pirate” was retired into history, serving only to provide humorous Halloween costumes for little kids and popular stereotypes for the entertainment industry.

However, the internet has recently appeared as a cultural icon and single-handedly revitalized many antiquated concepts within its virtual confines. Piracy has made a sweeping return on the wings of ten thousand young children all downloading the latest Linkin Park album in synchronization, and indignant groups such as America’s RIAA have arisen to take the role of the stern, yet inept, governmental force in this neo-Caribbean scenario.

The concept of piracy has become more nerdy than we could have ever imagined and yet the basic concept still remains the same: brave young swashbucklers steer their hard drives through the swirling sea of the internet, searching for copyrighted files and other valuable electronic commodities to snatch from the monolithic grasp of the culture industry. However, rather than going solo, today’s pirates work in tandem to bring their prizes to the general populace, obtaining files and releasing them into channels where other buccaneers can continue the chain of distribution.

Internet piracy has become a silent struggle of sorts, legalese and courtrooms replacing the open seas as the prime battleground for combatants. The defeat of Napster and personal lawsuits of Kazaa users serve as an indicator that bold-faced file sharing will be stifled by the opposition whenever possible, and once again piracy becomes risky business. Besides the obvious ethical questions that come with the job, pirates are faced with the necessity to remain one step ahead of the latest trend in file-sharing and avoid the controversial backlash which inevitably hits anything that becomes too popular.

Whether you have downloaded one Britney Spears MP3 or possess a computer loaded with hundreds of pre-released movie files, you still qualify as a pirate and must come to grips with the realization that you are a dirty, dirty stealer. If you can morally justify this, you should at least know where the goods are and stop wasting your time. Although I am certainly by no means actively promoting the theft of intellectual property, here are some of the advantages and pitfalls to various popular file-sharing systems. If you’re going to be a neo-pirate, you might as well do it right.

Kazaa – Once a popular site for music and ripped movies, Kazaa is now a horrible wasteland filled with bastards who scan your files and want to put you in jail. After the first wave of lawsuits, people abandoned the service like rats leaving a sinking ship and the selection of available downloads has been drastically reduced. Additionally, record companies and demented superfans have taken to ‘spiking’ MP3s with horrible beeping sounds or loops to prevent users from getting decent copies of the song. The free version of Kazaa is packed with spyware applications and advertising that intrude on your system. If you insist on using Kazaa, seek out the independently programmed Kazaa Lite which blocks unwanted intrusion and actively prevents known legal hawks from checking out your stuff.

BitTorrent – If you want newly released movies and music albums way before anyone else gets hold of them, check out BitTorrent. Although finding files can be difficult, there are several essential webpages that list releases as they come down the pipe. Downloading is generally fast and reliable and the only major downside to this system is a lack of searchability and an inherent difficulty in finding older stuff. If you want classic albums and 80s teen movies that have been kicking around for years, you might be out of luck. However, BitTorrent appears to be a forerunner in the piracy scene and its lack of a central server indicates that impending legal action is far away at the moment.

IRC – This chat program is the godfather of internet piracy and is often the initial source for releases that later trickle down into other programs. However, the actual process of getting files is fairly complicated for non-geeks and a rather bizarre subculture dominates the scene. It’s probably best to leave this alone unless you’re dedicated to throwing yourself into the twisted and blackened heart of piracy operations.

eDonkey/Overnet – These applications command a vast network of files, many of which are unavailable elsewhere. In my experience, the actual downloads were extremely slow and I did not have very much fun watching the little blue bars creep slowly across the screen as weeks and months passed. The search function is excellent and will dig up virtually any electronic file that you could ever hope to possess or didn’t even want to know existed. This network is becoming quite popular and I anticipate eDonkey taking the next major legal shot from the RIAA, Hollywood and god knows who else (the porn industry?).

Although these are a fraction of the available file-sharing options on the internet, hopefully my examples will serve as an indication of the vast scope that neo-piracy encompasses. So go forth, little buccaneers, and pillage the virtual landscape (if your conscience permits). This world is ours.

This ended up as a section lead in Entertainment. I had a fixation with the internet as a mechanism for distributing and advancing various kinds of entertainment (music, movies, etc) and frequently railed against the RIAA and their evil capitalist ways. This article is just another example of how intent I was on spreading the word about how you can make the internet work for you. All the information is probably outdated by now though.