Oktoberfest: Marta Edition
Pictures taken October 14-15, 2004 by Marta K.

There was once a girl named Marta who went into the world, fresh faced and ready to experience many wonders. One night she stumbled across a little event called Oktoberfest...and she was never the same afterwards. This is her story.

One fine day, Marta stopped by the RadioLaurier booth to see her
good friend Chris, who is a MegaSuperStar DJ. "Marta, my dear,"
he said. "Oktoberfest is coming and you simply MUST indulge!"

Gavin, who was stuffing his face nearby, overheard. "Why yes,
Marta. Oktoberfest is a cultural experience which you cannot
overlook. I demand you purchase a ticket and see this phenomenon
first hand, or I will kill any and all pets you happen to own!"

She complied, fearing for the life of poor little Fluffy. Before
arriving at the Oktoberfest hall, Marta took a series of evocative
photographs with her loving boyfriend Rob - on a stripper pole.

Marta and Rob like to add additional elements to their romantic
chemistry. Eiffel Tower!

Upon arriving at Oktoberfest, Marta was shocked to discover that
drinking 'beer' is a large part of the festivities. "But Chris," she
whined. "I was told that there was going to be a comprehensive
display of German culture! That's what I came for!" Chris looked
around at the madness surrounding them. "You're looking at
German culture, baby," he said in a mad sexy-sounding voice.
Kyle and Gord agreed (in comparatively less sexy voices).

And the drinking commenced!

And commenced some more.

And more...and more...

And more...almost there...

And more...oh God...AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!

Gavin was the only one who cuddled with her afterwards though.
Marta felt vaguely dirty, like the underside of a kitchen cabinet
in a student residence which hasn't been scrubbed since four
tenants ago.

But that still didn't stop her insatiable appetite for Oktoberfest
pleasure.

Meanwhile, her good friend Tessa was engaged in tomfoolery
of her own...

...and Rob was getting sassy with Ericka while Marta was
otherwise occupied.

Cuddled against Gavin's loving arms, Marta didn't care. "This is
the most bitchin' Oktoberfest ever, Gavvy-cakes," she breathed
into his ear. "I pray that this night will never end," Gavin
whispered back lustily. It was like a Harlequin Romance.

Suddenly, Chris and Kyle showed up to sweep Marta off into a
land of polka pleasure.

Oh my God! Chris pulled off his mask and costume to reveal that
he was actually Rob in disguise! And to make matters stranger,
Kyle actually turned out to be Chris in disguise! The question is...
where's the real Kyle? This is a soap opera for the ages.

"Well Marta," Chris said. "Did you enjoy the filthy rutting
promiscuity of Oktoberfest this fine evening?" "Yes indeedy do!"
replied Marta. "Chances are high that I am now pregnant though."

"Oh," said Chris. "Well then. I'll just stand over here with your
boyfriend until you decide who the father (or mother) is."

WHO IS THE CONCEIVER OF MARTA'S DRUNKEN OKTOBERFEST
CHILD???

Perhaps the world will never know.