Oktoberfest: Gavin Edition
Pictures taken October 14-15, 2004 by Gavin Prince

There was once a boy named Gavin with an insatiable appetite. He searched the world over for sweetmeats and delicacies to titillate his overdeveloped palate, but with little success. All the mysteries of Thai cuisine and Texas chili-huts were not nearly enough to satisfy young Gavvy-Cakes. Just when he thought all was lost, his quest began anew when the legend of an ancient event named Oktoberfest braved the winds to reach his eager ear. And so Gavin set out to gorge himself on German culture, hoping beyond hope that he would finally reach fulfillment.

Our hero's quest begins in a mysterious schoolbus with his
mysterious group of loyal traveling companions. Each holds a
mysterious VIP pass, which locals say is the mysterious
key to entering the mysterious halls of the Oktoberfest.

Chad is the dwarf of the party, boasting a fierce war beard.

Chris is the one who has trouble finding the door to the bus.

Upon arriving at the mysterious dungeon lair of Oktoberfest,
Gavin and his band of cohorts are greeted with a challenge: Drink
all of this beer, and you will be rewarded with a feast of the ages!

Chris and Alicia happily go to work.

Chad goes to work with exceptional vengeance. Fortitude +3!

Not to be outdone by his cadre of sluts, Gavin also begins the
challenge with great relish.

Making exceptionally zealous progress.

Perhaps TOO zealous.

Nonetheless, the party forges onwards! "Those bastards never
said we couldn't drink this 'beer' with our pants!" Gavin reassured
his group.

However, Kyle gets distracted from his task.

And again.

Meanwhile, Chris has been distracted by a technological dohickey
and Virginia's gigantic hat feather.

As punishment, each slacker is forced to do the Chicken Dance
at gunpoint by Oktoberfest staff (not pictured). It is a fearsome
dance, full of the dark terrors of Satan.

"C'mon, gang!" Gavin says encouragingly. "See? Look at this. I
can drink beer and molest girls at the same time!" He smiled
thinly. "Team? I...I don't feel so good...guys??"

With that, Gavin vanished suddenly! Alicia and Natalie didn't
even notice.

But Jen did. "Hey you guys! Gavin has been kidnapped by the
evil forces present at Oktoberfest! They don't want him to complete
the challenge and eat their feast! My magical crinkly tongue tells
me so!"

Chris agreed. "Jen's freakish tongue is right! Look at that stage!"

Gavin was imprisoned high above the stage (not pictured) while
a band played the fiendish drums of hell and tuba below!

"I'll be damned if I let Gavin fail now!" roared Kyle, sounding
somewhat like Chewbacca from Star Wars. "Maaaaaaaah!" (which
roughly translates to: Chugs for Gavvy-Cakes!) And he did
chug. And it was good.

Noah, one of the Oktoberfest-handlers, was visibly impressed
with Kyle's chugging abilities.

"Hey big boy...I like the way you swallow!" Kyle was perturbed
but talked up Noah anyways, hoping for clues as to how Gavin
could be rescued from his desperate plight. However, Noah's lips
were sealed and the band played on.

"Look!" Natalie suddenly exclaimed. "Gavin! They're letting him
free! We must've drunk enough beer even without his help! We
did it, Team Superstar!" She then collapsed under the table,
drunk as fuck.

With Gavin freed and the beer challenge completed, Team Good-Times
was served a feast that surpassed the greatest feast of the Gods,
by far. There were pretzels and weinersnitzel. And beer!

Eat eat eat, all day long...

Eat eat eat while I sing this song.

The feast was so tempting and juicy that Team Sassypants was
unable to stop eating until the last crumb had hit the floor. And
then they ate that, too.

"Well, my fine bitches," Gavin announced as he devoured the last
sausage. "I have finally achieved my goal of culinary supremacy!
There is not a sausage product in the world that I have not sampled
and enjoyed thoroughly!"

A great party was held in Gavin's honour at the Oktoberfest hall,
recognizing his new status as "World's Most Portable and Effective
Vacuum Cleaner."

His quest completed, Gavin only had one thing left to say:
"Only you can prevent forest fires."

And we all learn a valuable lesson about preserving nature and the complete lack of consequence when it comes to gorging oneself with beer and German food. Thanks, Oktoberfest!