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Halloweenum Gallerium
Pictures taken October 30, 2004
Halloween is a North American custom which requires small children to canvas the neighborhood dressed in the garb of the very latest cultural crazes, robbing candy and apples containing razorblades from terrified senior citizens. It is an excellent custom and, later in life, many of us are unable to let go of the desire to look ridiculous in public. When the candy and deathly apples are removed from the equation...well, you get the idea.
The Trailer Park Boys are known to drink from time, rumour has
it.
It is a matter of public knowledge that people who dress as smurfs
for Halloween are child molesters. That, or they love the creamy-smooth
sensation of their roommates dousing their back in blue paint.
Kim and Sherie demonstrate two quintessential costumes for
girls: a bunny and an angel. Rule of thumb: combine one part
minimal effort with one part seductive imagery and you've got
yourself a winner!
Two metalheads on their way to the Iron Maiden show.
Gavin shows his love for big phallic symbols.
Mario and the Princess. Mario might be taller, but Princess Toadstool
can float eerily over large expanses! Still, she sucks at picking
mass numbers of vegetables out of the ground. Who to choose...
Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, schmoozing the big Hollywood parties.
Later that night, Paris fell off the trampoline and complained for the
whole next episode of The Simple Life 3: Fashionable Biatches Do Waterloo.
Making passionate kitchen love to skeletons is an important part
of any good Satanist's Halloween festivities.
And then letting them languish on the cold tile floor afterwards.
That's key.
This is Julian's mom and her associate, Ricky's mom.
"Noooo mom, don't hook up with Bubbles!"
Too late mafacker!
Julian's mom is a shameless hussy! See how calm and collected
Bubbles is as she tries to rip off his belt. That's suave.
Czech Republic Jen demonstrates the rad 80's gear that just
came into style in her homeland.
Natalie the fairy is trying to convince Mario to take a job with
Microsoft.
Mike had the only costume that remotely resembled being
frightening (in a conventional way).
Allison shows off her vintage Turtles gear. Her orange headband
indicates that she chose Michelangelo, the gayest of all four
Ninja Turtles.
Bubbles doesn't know what the hell is going on.
Meanwhile, DBo has returned from the Poison concert and is trying
to get the Princess to teach him how to go down those green warp
pipes to get to a better world.
Sexy results!
Ricky is rocking the 40oz. and high fidelity boombox outside...
...While his mom, played by the ineffaceable Katie, works the action
inside.
Kristen was the lone angel in a traveling troop of sexy firefighters.
They were girls, just to clarify.
There comes a time when a man must get thrown through a table.
For Gavin, this rite of passage was marked by his name crudely
spray painted on a piece of plywood with arrows marking his demise.
Me and Tim delivered a massive 3D derivative known only as the
"Front Flip Ballsmasher 519" in hushed circles of wrestling
fanatics. Gavin went through the table and survived... barely.
That smile is really a grimace of the intense pain he must've been
feeling.
What could've possibly fueled such a reckless endangerment
of human life?
Boys? Boys? Is Halloween over? Can I grow my goatee back now?
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