Mellow Mondays
Origins: Summer 2004
Some pictures provided by Marta K.

The world is a vast and hasty place, so why not step outside the grind and the traffic for a while and watch it all zip by?

This is the guiding philosophy behind the phenomenon known as Mellow Mondays. Originally conceptualized by Chad McCordic and Jack Dow, Mellow Mondays began as a jaunt down to the local Second Cup with a hookah and a large amount of time to waste on the sun-washed patio. The popularity of Mellow Mondays grew by leaps and bounds as more and more people joined the revolution each and every week.

Mellow Mondays is an extremely portable event. Once summer was over and the Fall semester began, we moved Mellow Mondays to the Wilfrid Laurier University Quad area, where passerby's would either comment excitedly about the hookah: "Yeah sheesha!" or stare distastefully at us, sure that we were partaking in illicit substances on the hallowed ground of their post-secondary education. We were approached several times by security rangers reporting to complaints of drug abuse on campus, but our innocence was assured. None of the security stormtroopers ever took us up on our offers to let them smoke, though.

The beauty of Mellow Monday is in its simplicity. Only four elements must be present for a successful Mellow Monday to arise:

1. Sheesha Smoke

Jack Dow demonstrates proper smoking technique while Rob stares lustfully at the camera, hoping for a puff himself.	First things first. Sheesha is not illegal, nor is it a mind-altering drug. Sheesha is tobacco, mixed with molasses and flavoured with various fruits and other tastes. Popular flavours include apple, grape, mint and (gag) cappuccino. Sheesha has strong historical origins in the Middle East and Arab culture, and has since been imported to Canada for us whiteys to enjoy. Smoking sheesha is a relaxing and social experience, facilitating conversation around the hookah. Everyone has fun, and if they don't then we make them have fun.
Tim carefully places the coal on top of the hookah, using appropriate tongs as opposed to BBQ flippers, kitchen forks, or any number of makeshift alternatives that we've had to try when the tongs were mysteriously missing.	The hookah is prepared by stuffing a whole whack of flavoured tobacco into the bowl and covering it with tin foil that has had holes poked in it (for ventilation). A specially designed coal is lit, placed on top of the tin foil and voila! Smoke comes out of the hose. To be honest, I don't really know how the process inside the hookah works. There's some water bubbling and if you listen carefully, you can hear the screams of thousands of sacrificed children inside. I've always just assumed that the whole sheesha/coal into smoke transformation was some kind of voodoo magic that I would've learnt about if I had taken Grade 12 Chemistry.
Marta demonstrates the proper amount of smoke which should be exiting one's mouth after a pull of the hookah, which is to say: a whole bunch. Like Hiroshima, even.	It takes a few minutes to really get going, but the sheesha's relaxing voodoo soon kicks in. There's no puff-puff-pass rotation - the hose generally travels the circle as people see fit. The beauty of sheesha smoke is that it's so mellow that you don't even really feel it in your lungs at all, hence you can inhale a boatload. You can then exhale the smoke into pretty rings or sailing ships or blast it directly into a nearby person's face. If they take offence to being blinded, you can always remind them that they are ruining the spirit of Mellow Mondays with their antagonizing comments. Then you pass them the hose.

2. Coffee

Brewed by the finest international conglomerates
that this world has ever seen!

3. Monday

Monday fits the rhyme scheme. It also happens to be the weekday which many people hate the most, simply because it means that the weekend is over and it's time to get back to school or work or molesting or whatever it is that they do on a regular basis. Mellow Mondays serves to dispel the horrors of "the Mondays" with its emphasis on relaxation - something to look forward to rather than fear.

Gavin let Mondays stress him out and look what happened:
he now thinks he's a cartoon devil. Beware, workoholics!

4. Good 'Ol Boys & Girls

Without the right people, Mellow Mondays will never fly. You need a select group dedicated to the cause of wasting an hour or two. As evidence, I present the following:

Hackeysack is an integral part of a balanced breakfast.

Socializing is also acceptable...

But everything is sassier with the addition of smoke. Behold
the joy that sheesha brings!

See? Jen is joyous!

Sheesha smoke has the power to make Chad blurry like a ninja.

Even random kids with pitas love the sheesha. I like to think
that we mellowed this guy's monday to the extreme.

Little known fact: Mellow Mondays lead to expert photography.
Chang agrees!

In conclusion, everyone is happier as a result of Mellow Mondays.

So what are you waiting for? Embrace your Arab 'heritage', bust out the hookah and take some time out of a busy Monday to celebrate life, good friends and the mystical healing power of smoke. You'll ultimately be a better person, and that's a fact.

Disclaimer: Facts may be completely fabricated. Mellow Mondays Inc. is not directly responsible for the personal happiness of users. Use only as directed. Side effects include: vastly increased libido, addiction to nicotine and brutal police beatdowns.