<< MM | Main | Chinally >> January 21, 2006 >> You Stupid Fuckers! At first I thought they were funny. But as the months went on and they grew filthier and amassed tenfold, I slowly became more and more afraid of this dark edge of humanity. I speak, of course, of people who are searching Google or MSN or whatever for some brand of grotesque deviant porn and somehow (somehow!) end up coming to Clemensonline. Accidentally, of course. You won't find any deviance here... I swear. Really. Anyway, once upon a time, I snickered at the stats. "Ed Belfour drunk sex barnyard"?? "Nipple handcuffs"?? These gems were few and far between, so I tolerated them with the benevolence of some guy who has a website and has delusions of being its king and ULTIMATE POWER MASTER. I ruled my cyber-non-brothel with open-armed leniency. But now it's all "teen fuck" this and "fuck teen" that. Those aren't even funny; they makes me feel like I am the twisted king of some kind of sordid slut palace, a gateway to statutory rapeville. The beauty of search has fled and now "spanking" and "nicole richie" rule the roost. There are still occasional oddities like "mean shetland pony photos" and "downing grease spinner display", but generally it's Korean girls here and young virgins there and fucking whores everywhere. So at this point I can either give the masses what they want, which is evidently and overwhelmingly 'teenage sluts', or I can stop using this distasteful kind of language altogether in a desperate attempt to shoo the pervs away. This would be a shame, as I rather enjoy being distasteful, and anyway, it has occurred to me that I have just written a post which is entirely comprised of the phrases and words which will attract even more misguided pleasure-seekers. So basically you can start looking for teenage sluts in a few weeks: never before seen on video, and all here at Clemensonline! Hundreds and thousands of trillions of them! And today at the Clemensonline cybersite we have reached our donation goal of 75 000 visits!! This means that over 73 000 people have come here looking for sluts!!! The rest were looking for a blog or some stupid thing. Posted by Chris at 11:35 PM >> Commentations (7)
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