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Things learned from a Scutt Family Easter Jamboree:

-ScuttBabies say "ta-ta" when they want you to give them something, like an arrowroot cookie or a knife in the eye. "Ta-ta" is an interesting choice of phonetics because isn't that, like, tits? Stupid babies.

-Don't say "shit" or "asshole" in front of the babies, but if you do you should probably apologize to them. It's not their fault you're a vulgar vulture.

-Egg hunts are way more fun than you remember as a kid. Mostly because now you're six feet tall and can find the real tough hiding places.

-You can only cram a hardboiled egg inside a drain pipe so many times before it cracks on entry. No matter how prettily that egg is painted, it will still smell like poo.

-Probably shouldn't eat that egg...

-Children are marginally more fun than dogs, but it's a problem two hours later when they're no longer entertaining. Where do they go then? Like out to the farm or something?

-You can buy condoms from gas stations at 2 am, but only if you're prepared for some weird suggestions from the attendant (second-hand observation ONLY).

-You know when you go away to university and your parents move to a new house? And then you have a room, but it's not really your room since you've never spent more than two consecutive nights there. It feels kinda like a hotel. All those rooms look the same because mom gets to decorate them like they want Grown-up You to be: flower print comforter on the bed, tasteful art on the walls. The Real You is usually packed in boxes in the closet.

Posted by Chris at 10:07 PM >> Commentations (1)