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When playing Risk with family members, be the black army. Sometimes the black army are the ravenous hordes of Africa, thirsty for revenge against an oppressive European bloc, but today the black army is the racially neutral Dark Legion of Armageddon. As the dread fist noire reaches across continents and worlds, it may become apparent that reinforcements will be necessary. It is rather difficult to hold Europe with only seven foot soldiers, even if they are unspeakably evil.

Unfortunately, Colonial Rifleman + Colonial Rifleman + Cannon + Cannon do not = extra armies. The Storm Cloud loses ground, first in Europe and then Australia when the Yellow Dandies of Uncle Steve sweep through in a tide of moral cleansing. Things look bleak for Armageddon, sorta like when Y2K came and nothing blew up. The Dark Lord pouts.

Then little sister comes out of hibernation, where she's been playing with her camera and posing her armies in formations that resemble a girl's face. Her forces have been secretly gathering strength in North America, building might out of MTV in the American southwest. They mobilize quickly, sweeping across the Bering Strait and down through unsuspecting China where they pillage and rape and execute old grandmothers in sleepy villages. Further south, Australia stands no chance against her cultural subordination and the war is abruptly over - the entire world rests in the hands of a fashionable teenage girl.

This is the future in so many ways.

Posted by Chris at 07:28 PM >> Commentations (2)