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So here we are on the eve, and what can I possibly say about Christmas in Korea?

It's commercial but nowhere near as manufactured as our Plastic Christmas back home. It's getting there, year by year, but from what I can tell the spirit hasn't forced its way into enough hearts and souls just yet. Christmas just isn't the raving End-All-And-Be-All of life that we've gotten so used to back in Canada. I asked the Korean teachers what they're doing on Christmas Day and the convoluted answers mostly boiled down to "nothing", sometimes punctuated with "I'm going to church". No big dinners, no family unwrapping frenzy in the morning. No basement orgy. The Budda still battles for his share in Korea.

Still, I went to COEX - a giganticized mall - last weekend and the stores were ablaze in Christmas glory. People were buying oversized Disney dolls and scarves and, strangely enough, an entire store was dedicated to a guy with poo on his head. I didn't buy anything there.

In the oversized causeways, people took pictures of each other beneath mall decorations. Outside, people took pictures of each other in front of a large tree. Afterwards they slipped on the ice, unused to the absence of friction. we sat on a bench and laughed. I've noticed that most Koreans only take photos of uninteresting things, plotted frames of planned smiles and carefully chosen backdrops.

At school we had the usual kindergarten holiday fare - parents and showmanship and singing. I was Clara's surrogate father for a while - her mom couldn't make it to the party - and she sat on my lap tweeting happily while the other kids and their moms threw balls at a terrifying snowman target. The snowman's fearsome visage was partly due to the fact that it was formerly a Jack-O-Lantern target and had received a frantic facelift for Christmas only that morning. Clara boldly threw her ball down the Snow Lantern's throat to win the game for the childrens' side and I loved her for it.

The former Billy Teacher (he's still Billy but no longer Teacher) made a one-time appearance as Santa Claus. I have no idea how the kids didn't recognize him with his distinctive voice - "Roight then, have you been a good boi-ee?" - but then again, kindergartners will choose magic over logic every time. Billy dispensed the presents and the children with dolls played quietly, the children with diaries sat and wrote in them, and the children with Power-Swords beat each other heartily. I ate potluck and tried to reassure Jessica's mother that it was perfectly okay that she wanted to be a boy and was currently stabbing Eddie in the back of the head with her sword. Back in Canada, I said, she would be Normal.

In the afternoon we had Quiz Shows. I ran the Powerpoint and amused myself by chucking candy at kids' heads. Sam taunted the fat children by stuffing empty wrappers full of more empty wrappers and then enlisting other kids to unwittingly deliver the goods. Christmas is a time for cruelty and self-indulgence.

The afternoon kids sang their songs too. Some classes were well-choreographed with dancing. Some were not. I clapped for them all because it takes balls to sing 'White Christmas' in front of your peers when you don't know any of the words.

And so another holiday season has come and gone at Herald, and now it's time to get down to the real Christmas. In the geographical absence of family it's gotta be somewhere inside friends, new and old, and I plan on tearing out hearts all night until I find Christmas in your ventricles.

Merry Christmas to the homeland! I miss you all, and I'm only just getting started.

Posted by Chris at 12:05 AM >> Commentations (0)