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Ever notice that whenever you're in a dream and you end up somewhere you know, you don't really know it at all? For instance last night I was in an old warehouse that was attached to a church my family once attended. I was trying to escape some wankstas because I almost banged a princess but sadly something different happened and then I was in a sewer. The point is that in the dream I looked around at the warehouse and thought, "A-HA, reality gets the drop on imaginary psychosomatic thugs once again!" Because I already knew the way out, you see, from years of going to this church. Thanks Christianity!

Well it turns out I didn't know the way out, because this time the way out involved the deployment of a ridiculous ramp system in which I had to drive a tiny buggy around the warehouse. The buggy was powered by socks (???). Eventually I was able to climb the warehouse walls, but only where there were clumps of footware attached. It was like a little vertical, meandering pathway of socks that I was forced to painfully drive along while gangsters accumulated below. Of course, this made absolutely no fucking sense because I distinctly recall exiting this warehouse many a time as a child without ever driving a sock-train up a wall and into a vent.

Another time I was supposed to be going to Pearson Airport, but then I had a tea party with Madonna in space. All the cups fell off the bed but I managed to save a fork under a pillow, because I knew I would need a fork later when the crappy airplane meal was served. The problem was that the airplane I was supposed to be on got demolished by all our handled cups which had tumbled off into the atmosphere and apparently turned into bombs. Now I've never had a tea party with Madonna, but I bet it wouldn't really be like that. Maybe the space bed, but she'd have guard rails or something to prevent accidental loss of dishes. Dream trumps reality yet again!

Posted by Chris at 01:01 PM >> Commentations (2)