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I do, from time to time, enjoy fast food. Some of those times I am by myself, either through circumstance or a distinct lack of friends. And let me tell you that there is nothing more humiliating than having to order certain things without support.

KFC: WelcometoKFCwhatwouldyoulike?

Me: *pointing at overhead menu board* Uh... I'll have that one. The combo there.

KFC: *barely looking* WHICH one, sir?

(Side note: I also love how they have to call you sir even when they think you're a total fucking loser. It adds a certain timbre of hatred to their voices.)

Me: Er... the... Funmumblemumblemumble.

KFC: What? Sir?

Me: The... *big sigh* the Fun for One combo.

KFC: FUN-FOR-ONE! ONE FUN-FOR-ONE COMBO FOR THE GENTLEMAN!
FUN FOR ONE...ONE...ONE!!!

*everyone falls silent as they turn to look at me disdainfully*

Me: Thanks.

Why do they choose these painful, overwhelmingly awkward names for their special promotions? I may want that chicken burger, yes, but I sure as hell don't want to verbally admit that I would indeed like an "Xtreme Scream Sandwich Combo". X. Treem. Scream. God, I can't believe that they actually make you say it. It's sadistic.

Of course, dropping a little number or letter or SOME other signifier on the menu would help. It's a lot easier to ask for Combo #3 than the Greasy Chicken Finger Flinger Combo. If only they could give you something cool to say, something you could deliver with confidence. Chicken Infinity. Fireburger. But no... I will continue to be molested by KFC's horrible promotion marketing team, muttering and staring at my feet as I stand by that accursed register. Waiting for Fun For One.

Posted by Chris at 02:07 PM >> Commentations (5)