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Even though I'm far, far away from the Nation of the Leaf, I still snooped through the recent election buildup/climax/debacle whenever I had time. It probably won't surprise anyone to hear that Koreans/Australians/Englishes had no interest in the results when I stalked the school with the news earlier this week, except for when I ominously declared that now Canada would be more like the United States. This forecast was universally perceived as a Bad Thing. Noses wrinkled with disgust, but only temporarily - Canada's ideological alignment, sadly, is not high on many lists of import.

I can't say I really believe that Canada's social climate will change much, despite my love for fear-mongering. A minority government is no instrument of unmitigated cultural correction; it's a set of frustrating handcuffs that'll only stay on as long as it takes for someone to find a new key. Gay marriage will survive. Decriminalizing marijuana will take a backbench, but remain leering from the sidelines as it has for years. No amount of votes can change popular consent, and Harper's Conservatives will have a hell of a time trying to operate and manipulate mores within the liberally-minded gouge that most Canadians have proudly pierced for themselves.

The GST cut doesn't bother me much, except that it's stupid and breaking the legs of a key source of federal revenue and opening the door for top-tier corporate tax cuts. Losing social programs and education aid doesn't bother me much because I'm not there to enjoy them (yes I'm selfish... and as soon as I get back I'll be clamoring for my soup kitchen and discounted tuition!).

The military thing is a bit disturbing, because if we build a military then we're going to have to actually use it, and the only real use for a military these days seems to be in slutting around developing nations or giving troops to the U.S. where they are promptly assassinated in a faraway desert without any clue as to why they needed to be there in the first place. Neither seems a particularly appealing use of public funds, if you ask me. I suppose it would be nice to reclaim our fallen reputation as international peacekeepers, but freedom and peace don't really mean what they used to and I have a feeling that any Canadian International Peacekeeping force would soon be abroad raping Islamic goats and feeling up 12-year old girls in saris in the name of democracy and then where would our global reputation be? Right in the toilet bowl along with America's, that's where. Nobody likes a country packed with agitated military molestors bound to serve private business interests, and two such nations would be intolerable. Carefully, Mr. Harper, very carefully.

So time will march on and, for a short time, aging prairie cowboys will walk a little taller, content that Canada is finally heading in the right direction... and then they'll die. And their sons will be drag queens and turn their inherited cattle-ranches into rockin' man-brothel discos and they'll vote Green. The universe (and its pretentious microcosm, Canada) will balance itself out, just as it always has.

Posted by Chris at 12:03 AM >> Commentations (3)