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NEWS: Belinda Stronach sassed up the hurtin' Liberal party today when she defected over from the Conservatives, dumping right-wing boytoy Peter McKay and ditching a fancy party in the process. POW! Holy fuckaroos! I rushed around the WLUSU office trying to find someone to gush with, but was met with blank stares and nonchalant shrugs. Dismayed, I turned to you, happy internet people, for comfort. And Here I Am.

(ten minutes later)

Okay things are different now! Much hubbub. Responsible citizens and Vice Presidents Lyndsey Jones and Jen Mitchell came to save me, and we're getting a big portrait of Belinda in the Marketing Office:

It's not so much that Belinda is a masterful tactician or consummate policy wonk. She's a face, a Hottt figurehead face, and in today's democracy, leadership image is absolutely everything. Belinda draws crowds. Belinda grabs headlines. Belinda got Maclean's - a generally reputable news source - to write articles about her shoes and hair and vast social networks. Belinda is ready to fuck shit up.

Moving to the Liberals is an obvious powerplay for federal party leadership in the (somewhat) near future. Belinda has aspirations to the throne which the Conservative Party visibly wasn't willing to boost. Maybe they should've reconsidered; I mean, check out the ultra-zombified face of today's Canadian Conservatives:

Two words: Child Molestation. Stephen Harper just needs to accept the fact that he is a creepy, creepy looking man. I'm sure he's a great guy, a good 'ol family man, but nobody will be compelled to vote for the right wing because of Harper's grim face of statutory rape. Like I said, it's all imagery. And Harper's imagery smells like the undead.

So pretty Belinda's political hopscotch is potentially a Big Deal, bordering on CrazyMassive. I don't much care for the Liberal Party (I vote Green - oh snap!), but this is definitely a big check in the win department for the beleaguered Centre after a long series of rapings at the hands of one particular Gomery. This is gonna shift the vote. This is gonna give Canadian politics some pop.

Belinda is movin' and shakin', and leaving her Conservative boyfriend in the dust to pursue her ambitions (Jen likes that part). Say what you want about Stronach's questionable grasp of micro-issues, but the woman is doing things. She's big, and she's going to get bigger.

Belinda Stronach, will you be my sugar-momma?

Posted by Chris at 03:16 PM >> Commentations (4)