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I don't especially want Adult Chat. I mean, I'm sure it's very nice and all. It sounds swell. Adult Chat implies that super-hot, scantily clad women (just like the ones on TV) are waiting eagerly by the phone - er, keyboard - to talk expressly to ME! However, the reality of the situation is that Adult Chat is spyware garbage that continually disconnects me from the internet in an effort to dial itself into some 1-900 number and rape me silly in phone bill charges.

This beast also installs itself regularly, as soon as I connect to the internet, in fact, regardless of how many times and ways I try to clean its pestilence from the Silver God. See, it's doing it right. now. Motherfucker!

I have a hunch that it is incubating in the disturbingly large number of copies of 'svchost.exe', rousing and pouring forth gallons of Adult Chat spew onto me every time the glow of high-speed connectivity awakens it from unholy slumber. Messing with the incubation process only seems to cull a backlash of anger in the form of a tiny system box that counts down the seconds until my computer reboots. I feel anger. Great anger.

I also want to know a) Why people are big jackasses and code this annoying shit - clearly I will NEVER, EVER sign up for Adult Chat after this molestation, and will indeed make it my mission to inform everyone (you) that Adult Chat is the worst thing in the history of the world; and b) Why are anti-virus programs so retarded? I've run five different programs and each one has found stuff that none of the others uncovered. However, NONE of these five has been able to solve the Great Mystery of Where the Fuck Adult Chat is Incubating Its Evil, leading me to curse their incompetence with great vigor. GREAT vigor!

The whole virus/anti-virus industry seems sorta like a scam to me, like perhaps the viruses and the anti's are secretly in league to take our cash-money and keep us in fear of bots and worms and shellfish and God knows what else. Back in the good old days, there was no Adult Chat. There were no wormy-bugs. There was ASCII porno and tinny MIDI files of the Star Wars Imperial March. All the computers loved each other and they would go down to Silicon Bay to watch the sunset and swap floppies and, when they were feeling spicy, plug man-cables into parallel ports. And it was good, at least until Adult Chat had to come along and dirty everything up.

You're going to die, swaaaaaaaan!

Posted by Chris at 12:30 PM >> Commentations (4)