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Lately I've been bombarded with epiphanies. My mind opens and I get a glimpse, just a peek, at something special. I think "Shit, I should really write this down. I gotta blog this!" And then I watch an episode of Futurama and pass out, drooling on my pillow like some sort of non-writer-guy-thing.

It's a little bit disappointing, this lack of motivation. I slated the summer as a time when I would break away from the academic bullshitting and my fingers would fly across the keyboard, hitting letters (and maybe numbers!) as I bent the world into my text file. So far the summer has bent me, shaped me into indolence and idle contemplation and fish guts. And that's okay, it's okay for now, but I need this time to make something that'll last. Fish guts won't keep for too long.

Philip K. Dick and his VALIS really did a number on my ontological awareness. My thoughts are full of third eyes and the Empire (that never fell) and various incarnations of Jesuses who may or may not be us from the distant future, where time = space and both are meaningless. Everything around me seems less opaque, like somebody turned down the transparency slider in Photoshop, and I often just wonder why. Just why. And how. There's always room for how in abstract existential questioning. It feels good to think and to expand and to wonder, even if South Park is ultimately right and the 'correct' religion is Mormonism. I don't much care for those fucking Mormons, but the important thing is that I care about the Big Questions again, the Great Unknown (to sound pretentious and aloof). I find that you don't get answers if you don't especially want to look for them.

I feel that select members of y'all should check out this book. It doesn't have any answers whatsoever, but it has a gravy boat full of chunky questions to mess yourselves up with.

******signal change******

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I'm at work right now, if work is really the term to use. Dan and Katty have fueled my apathy quite nicely, although every so often I go to war with laxness and write reports and make Foot Patrol posters and other intriguing shit. This is really a prime spot for summer employment and I must admit, with great shame in my heart, that my stabbity-stab attitude towards WLUSU is softening somewhat. Don't look for me to start cheering anytime soon; although if I do, I would hope that my friends out there in Internetworld would come and put me out of my occluded misery with a quick sever (sevvverrr) of my spinal column.

Give me an S and an E and a V and another E and an R and then perhaps a second R for rhyming purposes! Gooooo SEVERR! I really hope the O-Week theme for this year is "Various Ways In Which a Knife Can Be Employed For Abrupt, Fatal Endings." I predict sweet, slice-y victory for Team Disembowel in the Shinerama "Pay Cash To Wash Cars" Shine-off!

Posted by Chris at 02:45 PM >> Commentations (4)