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After a few months of working for WLUSU, I finally think I'm starting to get a clue, some insight into the organization's overwhelming popularity here at Wilfrid Laurier.

The grand attraction? Sluttiness. Drunken, unabashed, extra-drunken sluttiness. Guys and girls. Slut is a term that can be applied equally across the gender barrier, liberally and playfully. Everyone's a slut here. Everyone's a lush. If you aren't a slut or a lush, you've at least thought about it. You're curious. Peer pressure intrigues you. You can't really disapprove too much.

I've heard and seen a lot, but I'm not even close to grasping the enormity of the whole shebang. Coordinators gleefully plan hook-ups between their execs, or with their execs. VPs are criminal masterminds of the highest order. I don't know about general volunteers, but the upper circles of the hierarchy are sexily devious. Make out for O-Week money. Make out for Shinerama! Make out for... yeah. Just do it, okay? The only consequence to pay is having your name grind through the giggly rumour mill for a couple days.

Take all of this with a grain of salt - WLUSU isn't quite the sordid pit of debauchery that I'm painting - but it's close, man. It's fucking close. They've built a shadow order behind the volunteerism bullshit, a Roman bathhouse society of free love. I'm seriously impressed here. I knew there had to be some reason why a person would spend half their week ordering naive kids to walk drunks home from the bar, and why the kids would actually listen.

THEY WANT TO FUCK LIKE INTOXICATED BUNNIES.

Posted by Chris at 01:44 PM >> Commentations (5)