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The obvious question that follows is, "How did this particular rhinestone cowboy lose its horn? Did it slip into the drain while the rhino was washing dishes? Did the rhino trade its horn for three magical wishes, and accidentally wish for world peace but it didn't work out? And maybe the second wish was for more wishes, but genies are smart about that now so no dice, and the third wish was for a delicious ham sandwich which turned out to be slightly stale?" I asked Green-Eyed Scutt and she somberly pointed towards a mural painted behind us in the rhino paddock, a mural which seeks to address and answer these very questions. Whence the rhinelette's horn? Howforso did the mighty beast decline?

Clearly we can see that minorities are the culprits. A brown man stands guiltily with a horn in his hand, a felled rhino before him. There are some perspective issues here, like how is a poacher bigger than a rhino for example, but whatever. Of particular interest is the quizzical expression on the poacher's face, as if to say, "Oh golly gee, did I murder yet another rhino? Whoopsie-daisy!" He sorta looks like he can't believe this is his job, that he gets to spear tiny little rhinos and break off their curiously oversized horns.

At least it's better employment than the other guy on the right there, the dude who is selling baskets of horns. Where's his body? You can't even see it, so either he has no body or it's just really dark in his Rhino-Horn Emplorium [sic]. Which is an unsafe; a health and safety violation. Employees might trip and fall over a basket of horns in the shadows and get skewered in an ironic act of rhino post-postmortem revenge. Still, this customer service representative looks kind of evil so that's what he gets if that's what he gets. It's important to notice that business is bad... nobody is buying rhino horns! Perhaps better marketing is in order, as a crudely painted 'MARKET' sign is likely to get swallowed up by today's fast-paced branded economy. A celebrity endorsement might help.

So the rhino's horn was taken by Bad Men, vague Arab-types who are depicted as incompetent and a little bit pathetic. They have all these horns, taken senselessly, without even drafting up a decent distribution model. And so the mural answers questions, but it also brings shame. Think of the zoo's rhino, pacing idly within its enclosure every evening after the crowds of onlookers have dissipated. All he has to look at is a mural about how his horn got stolen by a couple of fucking retards, and probably his brother's horn too. Hardly a confidence booster.

Posted by Chris at 12:13 AM >> Commentations (3)