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I have pretty much forgotten how to write, but a brief interlude in the vigorous activities of Being Hot and Chillin' With Arabs demands, at least, the attempt.

Dubai is crazy. It's a city, a mish-mash of skyscrapers each of which would, anywhere else, would be the centerpiece of an otherwise drab cosmopolitan skyline. One that looks like a gothic-style chess piece. One that's red with neon blue windows. One that's spiky and one that's round. They're so fucking cool but in their current arrangement, lined up and mushed together, it's hard to appreciate any of them because the combined effect is somewhat like Allah's wrathful kaleidoscope aimed directly at your scorched retinas. Note to SimCity self: you need a few boring buildings to accentuate the architecturally cutting-edge ones.

Down below drive the luxury automobiles, the people who walk and strut and sleep in dark alleys. Devout Muslim women, covered head to toe in black, remind me of science-fiction for some reason. They sort of glide here and there, always in small flocks, tending to the herds of children and menfolk where religion permits. It is pretty strange to see one of these very... ceremonious? ... women walking hand in hand with a fat Arab man wearing a Reebok t-shirt. In a mall. They are going to check out the latest sales on consumer electronics.

Scutt has arrived at an elaborate theory whereby Dubai-ians kill their children if they have any deformity or turn out to be "developmentally challenged". And it's true - I've seen many Arabs in the last few days, but not one non-conformist Arab. No Down's Syndrome Arabs, no Parkinson's Arabs and definitely no AIDS Arabs. Either we are looking at a very healthy lifestyle here in the Emirates, what with all the chain-smoking and construction fumes, or something fishy's going on. Racism, that's what's fishy.

Moving away from absurd conspiracy, the people here have either been really friendly or really stand-offish. At one end of the spectrum is the smiling tout in the warrens of a souk (market): he calls you friend, he has a brother living in Canada! Or a sister, whatever. He bargains fiercely, and tells you that you will kill his children with starvation if you can't pay more than 50 dirham for those sunglasses. A master of bullshit, like most marketers, but you can't help but like them whether you come to an agreement or not. They slap hands and it's like you're part of some timeless dance where they try to fuck you and you try not to get fucked. It's honest dishonesty.

On the other end is the taxi driver who pulls over, despite already having a passenger: "Where you go?"

Scutt: "Gold Souk!"

Taxi driver: *pulls away quickly*

Scutt & Clemens: "Oh."

Posted by Chris at 06:32 AM >> Commentations (0)