HI LOL OKAY SO I KNOW I DIDN"T WRITE FOR SOOOOOO LONG BUT THAT"S OKAY RIGHT BECAUSE YOUR FACE IS STUPID AND ALSO YOU HAVE A PREHENSILE TALE LIKE A MONKEY STORYTELLER.
MOMS & POPS BEEN BEETING ME IN THE OFF-SEASON, S'ALRIGHT THOUGH CUZ I GOT MY GRILL LOCKED DOWN, SON! HOW DO YOU MAKE CAPS THAT ARE BIGGER THAN CAPS ALREADY ARE?? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???
LOCKED DOWN, LADY OF THE NIZZ-IGHT!!!!
HTML! P.S. I"M GOING TO BE A VIDEO GAME DESIGNER rofl.
Posted by Chris at 07:34 PM >> Commentations (6) | Permalink
June 15, 2007 >> The absent professor
At the Society of Teaching and Learning in Higher Education conference, many valuable lessons are absorbed. Move your face when you talk. Laughter is quantifiably beneficial. There are ten thousand different ways to organize a "learning community". Plenty of shit is murkily problematic, with no real solution as of yet. Let's isolate the core issues. But the most poignant lesson, for me, came from a seminar entitled, "How to Deliver a Good Presentation".
If you're going to give a presentation, you should at least show up for the fucking thing. That would be a good start. Won't forget that little tip, delivered by an unmanned podium.
Posted by Chris at 04:06 PM >> Commentations (0) | Permalink
June 13, 2007 >> Edmonton
The Butterdome is perhaps the single most terrifying building I have ever encountered. It creeps towards you, glinting in the sunlight like a gigantic corn on the cob. The kernels? Putrid yellow death. Young University of Alberta graduates come out of this structure, blinking, mindwashed and changed into Servants of the Dank Margerine. The psychological implications are staggering.
Otherwise Edmonton is really nice!
Posted by Chris at 01:25 PM >> Commentations (0) | Permalink
June 09, 2007 >> Your own personal blackout
MetCap Living Management sucks. I hope someone googles them and finds this sentence so they can know exactly how MetCap sucks. Let's try some others too, to warm up:
MetCap Rapefest
MetCap Poor Business Practices
MetCap Residential Disaster
MetCap Mismanagement
Hot teens with no shirts!
MetCap: Don't Live There
I spent last night alone in our apartment with no electricity or running water. I sat sadly in my shadowy living room after an errant bolt of lightning sizzled into our deathtrap building, waiting for someone to come help. Elevators weren't running. There were no tangible efforts being made to talk to residents, or even any indication that the problem was being worked on. I read a book (a very nice book, actually, Dharma Punx) until the sun set and the words got blurry in the shade. I eventually went to bed, paralyzed with fear - the dark is scary and my night light wasn't working! In the morning... nope, still no sign of any management. Office closed. Elevators silent. Jesus frowning.
1 Fountainhead Road, Google search bots, 1 Fountainhead Road. Bring cyber-people here to witness the tragedy. Our own personal New Orleans. An island of darkness in an ocean of lights.
MetCap has made some vital errors in the past as well. Once upon a time our building was managed by a East European crew who lost my rent payment way back in October. Since then we've been getting harrassed by lawyers (a different lawyer each time, no less!) about paying back-rent. They summoned us to a tribunal which they didn't show up to and tried to charge us a surcharge on that. We've explained the situation countless times to our building manager, who is now a nice but overworked Chinese lady, but there is a fundamental disconnect between our building and the rest of the hell-spawn MetCap entity. Building managers don't know property managers don't know legal don't know shit. MetCap is a grotesque body writhing, lashing out, without a nervous system to connect everything together properly.
I've been trying to fuck with them lately. The best line is, "Well I go to law school / business school and my focus group is definitely going to be looking at MetCap as a case study in how poor business practices result in class action lawsuits / decreased market share!" If you say these things with enough authority, sometimes they swear at you in foreign languages. They don't like it if you mention how it takes 20 minutes to catch an elevator either, I think they hear that one a lot.
Anyways, fuck you MetCap, but at least you gave me the impetus to write again.
Posted by Chris at 02:05 PM >> Commentations (6) | Permalink