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After several days down south in a pimping beach resort, I am back in this hideous sluttish monstrosity known as Khao San... I tried to escape, go anywhere (anywhere) else, but somehow a bus has landed me amidst the neon debauchery despite my best efforts. Now I have a 3 dollar hostel room which looks like cancer and my only recourse is to sleep in it until it is light and I can plot my escape.

Things I have learnt thus far:

-Many attractive Thai girls are actually ladyboys. They are scary.

-Do not thumb wrestle small Thai children. They have gigantor muscular thumbs and will defeat you. Then you will have to purchase a rose or some useless trinket because you suck so bad at thumb wrestling.

-Same goes for Connect 4. Thais are righteously amazing at Connect 4. Sometimes they will let you win, like say a certain bartender at Potang, and you will get a free tequila shot. Then you will lose many more times and have to buy her tequila. You will be encouraged to keep playing because she gives you a 'free' tequila every time she drinks one, and before you know it you've had a trillion tequila shots and are puking vicariously.

-You can get weed, but only if you endure many invitations for "fucking, fucking!" first. There is lots of fucking going on apparently.

-And there are a disturbingly large number of old men with teenaged Thai girls.

-Kickboxing is terminally awesome.

Okay that's the end because the little number is flashing at me and it means I either put 10 more baht in the little coin-hole or I go pass out, and I'm really looking forward to that filthy bed.

Posted by Chris at 01:10 PM >> Commentations (7)